Posts

Navigating Stress: Suppress or Mitigate?

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Did you know that humans are the only species that consciously or unconsciously suppress their stress recovery? Well actually, according to Stanford University Professor Robert Sapolsky, other primates like baboons do it as well. It’s one of the things that intrigues participants in my sessions on developing stress hardiness and resilience strategies.

It seems the higher evolved our intelligence is, the worse we are at protecting ourselves from the ravages of stress on our physical and mental health. As we have evolved, we have moved away from how our primitive ancestors handled stressful situations. A quick recovery was essential. It meant life or death.

Now, the stress response we trigger is usually with our thoughts, fears and worries. It’s not the same as if we’re being chased by a black bear or in my case, thinking we might be chased by one – something that happened while I was visiting my sister in Wild West Virginia this summer. FYI, the bear didn’t appear near her house until after I was gone.

Since it was only a thought, I didn’t have to run for my life. What would have happened though, IF I had let this thought hijack me emotionally? The hormones, glucose and neurotransmitters my body would have produced wouldn’t have metabolized, or at least not as quickly, as if I was running for my life. I would have had extra stress on my heart, blood vessels and other organs for hours, maybe even days. Our imagination is a wonderful thing, until it isn’t…

And yet, there are strategies, beyond the toddler’s shame and blame game (thank you Dr. Gabor Maté), that we can learn and apply to support our stress recovery in modern times. Science has provided us with the knowledge of how our bodies function and how we can best adapt to distress. We can even learn stress mitigating behaviors from other species, that enable us to become more resilient.

One participant asked me why we’ve evolved so far away from how we are meant to respond. Again, I think the reason has to be due to our evolved intelligence. We are continually triggering a stress response for non-physical (hence mental and emotional) causes. We have imaginations that create (disaster) situations which are unlikely to occur. In the words of Mark Twain: “I’ve been through some terrible things in life, some of which actually happened.”

Now, some worry is good for us. It can help us prepare for or prevent a future event that might be harmful to us. “That can lead to some important choices. If you worry about a car accident, you’ll wear your seatbelt. If you worry about skin cancer, you’ll wear sunscreen. Worry prompts you to do something that might be inconvenient, but protective. It also makes you prepare: If you fret about a job interview, you’ll spend more time preparing for it. “ 

The most definitive research (*see note below) I can find is entitled ‘Worry’s Deceit’ by Pennsylvania State University researchers.

They found that about 91 percent of worries didn’t come to pass. Of the remaining 9 percent of worries that did come true, the outcome was better than expected about a third of the time. For 24% of participants, exactly zero of their worries materialized. What a colossal energy drainer, don’t you think?

We are doing this constantly in our daily lives, and it’s taking its toll on our health. We need to learn healthy strategies to deal quickly with stress and build resiliency to thrive. We need to learn when we can make stress our friend. It is, after all, a signal. How we interpret that signal is something we can choose. For that, we need to become emotionally agile, so we can make the right choices that will support us. Luckily, our brains are malleable. We can learn how, no matter our age.

 

 

* LaFreniere, Lucas & Newman, Michelle. (2020). Exposing Worry’s Deceit: Percentage of Untrue Worries in Generalized Anxiety Disorder Treatment. Behavior Therapy. 51. 413–423. 10.1016/j.beth.2019.07.003.

Should Resilience be our ‘North Star’ Skill in the Workplace?

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I’ve been promoting building personal and team resilience for more than 12 years. Never have I seen a time when its needed more, than now.

In May 2023, the World Economic Forum published its ‘Future of Jobs Report’. What didn’t surprise me is that Resilience in the 2023 report went to number 3 as a top skill, from number 9 in 2020.

Analytical thinking is at the top of the list for both reported years. Creative thinking went from number 5 to second place.

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My potentially controversial thought for the future of work is since without resilience during stressful, challenging times, you can kiss Analytical and Creative Thinking good-bye – shouldn’t Personal and Team Resilience be desired skill #1?

Our analytical and creative thinking functions get hijacked, if our ability to be emotionally Agile and Flexible ‘in the moment’ isn’t highly developed. Staying calm is of paramount importance in the face of disruption and uncertainty.

A variable of resilience, according to the University of Pennsylvania’s Positive Psychology Dep’t, is Self-Awareness (#4). Building resilience means building self-awareness. It’s actually the first stepping stone to being able to ‘bounce forward’ and not just ‘bounce back’ from adversity. Bouncing forward means we’ve learned something from what we experienced.

Another of the variables of resilience, as mentioned above, is Emotional Self-Regulation or Agility. With this, we can make choices that are much more likely to serve us.

Curiosity and Life-long Learning skills are also dependent upon being resilient and developing stress ‘hardiness’. When our pre-frontal cortex is heading down the proverbial drain, we start to narrow our focus, which means we’re less likely to be open-minded and have the mental agility we need, when we need it.

When we are self-aware, emotionally and mentally agile, we can be more analytical, more creative, more curious, and more open to learning.

Am I biased in thinking that in addressing the shortage of resilience skills (most of us haven’t received this in our education or in our upbringing) might just be the antidote to many of the other skills we need?

I’d enjoy hearing your thoughts on this!

Trust IS the Glue

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My work this past decade has focused on supporting employees in developing healthy strategies to weather the adverse situations which come onto all of our paths. I’ve come to realize what the title of this article says: Trust IS the Glue!

We all know that change is happening at an incredible pace, all around us. Organizational experts inundate us with their research. In order to survive and especially thrive, we (our organizations and the people who work in them, a.k.a. ‘organisms’) need to be adaptable to this change. Change mindsets, open mindsets, growth mindsets are terms bandied about and rightly so: without the ability to adapt to change, we’re going to become irrelevant.

For me, what’s missing in all this dialogue are the essential ingredients needed to ensure this can take place. It’s my opinion that without trust, and without its sister qualities of connection, curiosity and courage, the vulnerability needed to build it is going to be hard to find.

What comprises trust? How do you define trust? You need to know this for yourself in order to know if it exists. How do you know when your work environment is trustworthy? What feelings does a trusting workplace instill in yourself? What behaviors do you exhibit which make you trustworthy?

On the flip side, what happens within organizations when trust is low? What are the costs? To my mind, lack of engagement, productivity, and creativity are just a few of the side effects. Add a toxic environment into the equation and watch your organizational resources dwindle, not least your people.

There is so much to win in building a trustworthy culture, especially with the competition for talent in today’s market. My challenge to all of you who lead others is to give this topic your attention. Today, not tomorrow!

How Full is Your Battery?

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“People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy putting themselves on the line, growing out of the past, and getting on with their lives.” J. Michael Straczynsk

Awareness – A Better Coping Strategy

  • The first step to creating more harmony and balance in your life is through awareness. Start with something ‘simple’: what gives you energy and what drains your energy? Low energy levels make you more susceptible to reacting to stressful situations. If you take this one step towards developing insight into ‘what makes you tick’, then you have a greater chance of taking the necessary steps towards ensuring you have more energy gainers in your life.
  • What can’t you say no to or perhaps better phrased: what do you say yes to, that might drain your ‘battery’? Is it a lack of exercise or a friend who weighs you down with their problems? Is it too many late nights? Fast food? What unhealthy choices are you making for yourself? It comes down to – what brings you short-term pleasure but coupled with long-term pain? We all know what we should be doing, often we just don’t do it.
  • If you’re not even aware of what’s triggering your energy drain, then you can’t do anything about it. Stop and make a list of habits, situations, people, and environments that aren’t serving your best needs. Analyze the list and ask yourself what can you do to change just one of the items on your list. Once you have thought out a game plan, put it into place.
  • Search for help. If it’s a habit you want to change, then research how habits can be changed and how you can develop new ones that are more supportive. Charles Duhigg wrote a book about this and there are a couple of great videos on You Tube describing the process of changing habits.

Other Helpful Tools

Perhaps you might need coaching. There are a lot of us ‘out there’. You need to find the one best suited to you. It’s an investment in yourself – don’t wait for your boss to reach into their budget to help you. Take the initiative for yourself.

If it’s an improvement in your diet, then look to a nutritionist/food specialist for help. And there are thousands of books on the subject. Ask someone, who seems to have a good handle on their personal nutrition, what they are doing. You know them! They are that person who looks great, exudes energy, doesn’t get easily irritated and has enough left over at the end of a long work day to still do something interesting for themselves. See if just one thing they are doing will make a difference in your life.

A Last Thought

The bottom line is this: if our battery is running low, then we won’t be able to come up with creative solutions to the challenges life throws our way.

Please share your comments and questions in the comments section below.

Administrative Professionals’ Day April 16th 2020

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A great way to say ‘thank you’!
In the month of April, show your professional administrative support staff just how much you value their contribution. You can do it with flowers and chocolates but an inspirational ‘Skogsfloating’ day is saying thank you, in a more meaningful way.

The ultimate combi
A day to be nurtured in nature and to become inspired. During this day, your staff will have ‘their time in the sun’, perhaps also literally, should the sun decide to shine. One thing is certain, it will be a memorable day.

 

A playful location
Conference center Kapellerput in Heeze, provides the playful location, as a background to Skogsfloating. Standing in the midst of a beautiful woods, the gently rocking ‘chairs’, aided by Mother Nature, provide the foundation for relaxation, reflection and creativity – key words for the day. The accompanying experience of tranquil weightlessness gives the space and time to become ‘still’ – to give back to oneself.

Open Registration on April 16th, 2020 **
The day starts at 09.30 with coffee and tea. Most of the day will be spent outside. The program will end at 17.00. Further details will be provided upon registration.

Costs:
This ‘experiential day’ is 380,- pp, excl. vat/btw, for a minimum of 6 participants.  Price is including a day arrangement at Kapellerput (unrestricted coffee, tea and lunch buffet).

Registration:
Use the contact page to get in touch with me,  with your name and telephone number. Copy ‘Administrative Professionals’ Day’, into the subject line.

This open registration day will be held in Dutch

** If you have a minimum of 6 administrative personnel (maximum is 22), there is an opportunity to host a closed registration team event in the month of April.

 

A New Day: A New Chance

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Your Inner Critic 

6 weeks ago, we entered a new calendar year. Fixing our eyes forward, I’m wanting to share with you some inspiring words of wisdom to continue into 2019 with a different mindset, a different perspective, and perhaps with more grit, creativity, and resiliency.

New Year’s resolutions, goal setting, and good intentions are on almost everyone’s minds. We know that the majority of us will have given up on our resolutions before this first 6 weeks passed. At which time, your inner critic, that voice in your head, starts calling you on the fact that you’ve failed, again.

“It’s a New Day, A New Chance”

In the spirit of keeping it truly short and sweet, I’ll quote my husband. René greets the start of every day, and I do mean every day, along with most people he sees (including me) with: “it’s a new day, a new chance”. He’s done this for so many years, I’ve actually forgotten when he started. The staff in the fitness club where he works out every morning, have heard this so often, greet him with these words. It’s become almost a competition: who gets to say it first.

A Change in Mindset

But what do these words mean? For me, they mean that we don’t have to wait for a ‘new year’ to make changes. Even if we ‘shortchange’ ourselves by giving up early on our New Year’s resolutions, if they are important to us, it means we can start a New Year every day of the year. There is an expression that says “this is the first day of the rest of our lives”. Make each day, that first day. And if you fail today, then wake up tomorrow knowing you have another chance to get things right. In fact, you have 365 chances to get it right.

Don’t beat yourself up, if you don’t make your resolution a reality. Take each day as it comes. Failure is only failure if you don’t attempt again. Giving up is failure. As Cyriel Kortleven says, think about your failures as ‘Nearlings’ – as in ‘I nearly made it’. Not so bad, right?

Thomas A. Edison, known as someone who didn’t give up, apparently responded to a friend’s query regarding the volume of experiments he’d done, that hadn’t delivered any results with: “Results! Why, man, I have gotten lots of results! I know several thousand things that won’t work!”

Stay focused on what you want to achieve. When you lose your focus, regain it. This will mean that you ultimately reach your goal, whatever it may be.